You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
