Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
