Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
