he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
