we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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