Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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