The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
