I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
