woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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