I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
