The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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