Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
