I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
