If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
