We won't sleep together?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
