Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
