I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
