just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
