so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize