Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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