what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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