Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
there is glitter all over my balls
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
