I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
