You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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