I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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