remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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