shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Walk of Shame today included voting.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
