Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize