I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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