I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
