happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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