some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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