I want to make a zoo with you.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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