I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
