Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
