Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize