I want to have your abortion
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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