I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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