Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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