She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
