brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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