I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
