Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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