you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
