? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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