It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
