sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize