drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
