For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
