trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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