Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
