thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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