i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
