Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My vagina is officially offended.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
