the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
