HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
