Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
