I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So squirting runs in the family.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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