i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
