He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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