apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
