I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
