Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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