Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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